Guys, I was totally creatively dry on Tuesday (not to mention sleep deprived) and so I decided today I would do WHATEVER I wanted on my blog, even if that meant rambling about my life and my writing, because I’m hoping that helps me get creative again.
I’ve been stressing about my writing, the deadlines I’ve set for myself and others have set for me, not to mention the fact that I want to work on school more, because I’m inspired to actually finish high school someday. (For a bit I might have wanted to stay in high school forever.) I usually start stressing when I can’t sleep, and that keeps me from sleeping, which keeps me from having energy, which keeps me from life, which makes me stress even more, which makes me sleep even less, and then the circle keeps going around and around.
But you know what?
I’ve got some awesome friends who are there to help me out.
And I’ve got a supportive family, who love me, and want what’s best for me.
So I’m going to ramble today, and I’m going to talk about what I’m writing, and how I feel about life.
Oh, and before we get into that, adding chocolate milk to your coffee doesn’t make a mocha…Sadly. 😦
I’ve been writing a Dystopian novel, which I’ve called my secret project. At the moment I’ve gotten so far! But I made a deadline to be done today. And I haven’t…Yet. And so that’s kinda brought me down, along with missing my scheduled blog post on Tuesday. The idea of letting myself down on blogging just kinda crushed me on Tuesday, and so on Wednesday I tried to push it out of my mind. I’m not a big fan for dwelling on failure.
I kinda just laid around in my room, wrote a paragraph before deleting it, and mentally berating myself for being so exhausted, and then I would stress out that I would skip Saturday, and so the post was never written on Tuesday. I would say I’m sorry, but I’m really not.
The weather around here has been beautiful, and that has also has almost depressed me, which is odd. The beautiful weather has made walking and exercising more enjoyable, but I’ve also just been…I dunno. In a rough spot. (And I never got the snow I wanted this winter. 😦 )
But guess what? In rough spots of life, God lets His light shine through. I’ve been so encouraged by reading my Bible, and talking with friends and my mom. They’ve been amazing.
I also had to write an article about hope by the twentieth of this month for a magazine. And I had no idea what to write. But my awesome friend helped me out, and an article on hope for the lonely was born. It was hard to write, but it was so rewarding. Writing is often easy for me, so to actually have to work, and work hard on something has been strange, but good. Good for me, in the way yucky tasting medicine is good for you.
I have been sleeping a bit better, which is a relief. I’ve also been working on my art, and I finished a really hard portrait painting for a friend. I think another reason it’s been hard to write is because I’ve been beating myself up about it. I went over the deadline I made for myself, and it also didn’t turn out like I wanted it to.
But you know what? It’s okay. It’s one of the best portrait paintings I’ve done so far, and so I’m okay with it. I’m okay with not being perfect, and you know what? That’s something we all have to accept. We’re all growing and learning, every day it’s a new day. At least I tried, and I’m proud of that.
I’ve been working on the magazine I edit, and figuring out my next steps in my life, not that they’re that important, but we all have to decide every month if we like the way we went last week, and each day we’re working towards a goal. I guess I’m just evaluating my goals.
But I’m excited about blogging again, and I have an awesome post for Tuesday, and some exciting news coming up, so you guys hang in tight. Amie’s not down yet. She just was a bit discouraged.
Now…I have an email to write for all my Newsies, and I have a book to write. I’m full of ideas, and ready to get going.
Like always, I am…
Nope, that wasn’t right. I mean,