I Want to Know


God, who am I?

You are my child. (John 1:12 ,Galatians 3:26)

What do you want me to do?

Know me and make me known. (Jeremiah 24:7, 2 Peter 3:18, James 4:8)

How can I do that with my blog? All the blogging experts talk about a niche, finding your message, and sharing it. How can I do that? What is my message?

Know me and make me known.

Well, that certainly helped me. Do you mean by having a lifestyle blog, or a Christian living blog, or a deep thoughts blog like I already have? Do you mean by just joking around and bring light into people’s lives? Do I even make people think?

Know me and make me known.

And that is super helpful. I just want to know what to do with my blog. I need to have answers here.

Know me and make me known.

That’s super helpful, God. You’ve said that before. I do know and  will know You better and I’m trying to make you known. But there are so many different ways to do that. Everyone has a different calling to share the message of Christ crucified, resurrected, and sitting at the right hand of God. What is mine?

What is mine?

The phrase was left floating in my head until yesterday, when I read two different things. In a book, the main character struggles with her calling, and another character points out that maybe we don’t have one specific calling or purpose in life. At least, not in the way the normal Evangelical Christian has been taught to think about callings.

Our purpose is in the greatest commandment, which is to love God with all our heart, all our mind, and all our soul. (Matthew 22:37) That in turn should shape everything else we say, think or do. (Of course it won’t, because we’re sinners, but we can still strive. Which is what this book was about.)

The second thing I read was an article on a writing community I’m a part of. The article writer (Rebecca Davis) stated that our message will be shaped organically by God as we live life.

Now, I’ve lived through some things, even though I’m still so young, but I hate talking about them. Hating reliving the memories I’ve purposefully buried, the ones that shape my nightmares, my ambitions, and my past. So during an interview, I asked her about sharing messages that cause you pain.

And her answer was intriguing. God grants us the gift of numbness for a time, when we’re going through the pain. And when we’re given the gift of numbness, the best thing to do is find someone who can help us and makes sure we’re safe.

But after awhile, we awake from the numbness to sharp pain. And when the sharp pain comes, it’s hard to think of anything besides that. Besides what’s been hurt, what’s been broken, what’s been lost.

At the end of the day, however, it’s not your pain that’ll define you and stay forever. It’s the lessons you learn during the pain. At times, you might be called to share your pain while you walk through it. (I’ve done some of that!) Other times, however, you may never share your pain, you may never let that be apart of the message, but you still have the lessons that bleed over into your other messages.

God, I want to know what’s next. I want to know what to do.


Okay, well, I’ll just —

“When you don’t know what to do, just do the thing in front of you.”

Huh. Then I guess I’ll write a blog post.


6 thoughts on “I Want to Know

  1. kassieangle says:

    You still have those lessons that bleed over… I have no idea why that’s encouraging. Yeah, sometimes it’s really helpful to tear your heart open and write about those things for everyone to hear. And sometimes, no one else will never *really* know. But it still shows up. And that’s what we’re supposed to do. 💙

    Liked by 1 person

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