And it went like . . .


To you, my darling,

You appeared as just a year

Your presence in just ink

Tempered into something more.

To you, my darling,

You took me and made me new

You held my hand as I went through

And healed my bleeding wounds.

To you, my darling,

As you look over your shoulder

As your hazel eyes wonder when

We’ll meet once again.

To you, my darling,

I write this letter, so you will never leave

So that when I wonder where you went

I’ll have these blessed memories.

When I had no more to give

You simply let me live

When I had no more strength to stand

You stood and watched over me.

So when I say goodbye tonight

And watch the calendar change,

I’ll always remember that you showed me

Good years are a thing.


I had given up on good years when 2021 showed up last January first. I’d decided life was just one suffering battle, something to be endured, something that you just want to end. But 2021 and God showed me that life isn’t like that. That yes, there’s awful years you simply have to slug through. But there are wonderful years like 2021.

2021 Highlights

Starting Painted Prose Designs!

There’s not many things I started or did in 2021, but I’ve fallen in love with my little Etsy shop. There’s still so much to do and so much growth it’s waiting for, but I’m still really thankful and proud of every piece of hard work and love that went into it. Especially since it’s my second small business.

Which leads me to the second highlight.

Learning how to fail

This one is hard for me, as a person who hates failure, breaks, and any kind of self care. But it was time for me to learn, time for me to take time and breathe, or else I was bound to get myself in some pretty bad places. And I had a lot of opportunities on learning how to fail this year.

First off, I “failed” in a small business attempt. And I’m not even upset about it anymore. It taught me that failure is often the forerunner of success, and that hard work will never go unrewarded, even if at first glance, the reward looks like failure.

Then, in the summer, I “failed” at a law office job. It just wasn’t the right fit for me, and it was running me dry. I learned that I am not at all a desk job type of person, and if you leave me in a cold room with barely anything to do, I will sleep the day away. 😂 Quitting that job taught me that it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to not have things work out. People won’t hate you, and you certainly won’t hate yourself.

Seeing my sweet friend twice in one year.

First trip to visit her was a blast. I surprised her for her graduation, she had no idea I was coming! And that ended up being the best part of my 2021. Late Starbucks run, beach fun, amazing conversation and singing at the top of our lungs in the car. It was magical. And then this December I was able to visit her again, and it was a lovely time. ❤

My first full-time job and being promoted to manager

Taking so much of my time, it’s a good thing I love this stinker. I found a place where I belong as a barista, and now a manager. It’s like a second home, and I may or may not spend as much time or more time there than I do at home. The people I work with are amazing, and I love my customers so much. This was one of the largest and coolest blessings God gave me in 2021. To go from total isolation to being able to see people EVERY DAY? It was a dream come true, a dream I didn’t even know I had.

2021 has been a lovely year, full of healing. In 2020, I started the year with a post that stated I didn’t know who I was anymore. And while it’s true, I don’t have a detailed synopsis on myself, I do know myself now. I know who I am.

I’m Amie, a wild yet cautious being who has more ideas than time, reads more than she speaks, and yet treasures people and stories as the greatest things on earth.

I am ready for the New Year.

Are you?


Humor and Coffee


I tried to come up with something funny to blog about, I swear I did. All my humor has been drained from my life and painted in my world. actually I might be writing a comedic short story, and that’s what’s stealing my humor. Screaming children, yelling, and general mayhem that causes me to crawl back into my mind with a hurry hasn’t bothered me the past few days.

Grant it, I don’t expect this to always be the case, but ya know, enjoy it while it lasts.

Also, the weather has been extremely finicky lately. It was so balmy and happy, but I think it stubbed its toe, so it went down to the 40s again. But I’m not complaining. Stub your toe more often, weather, if it gets us such beautiful variety.

I have been either extremely motivated, staying on track and getting everything done, or just reading all day. It seems to rotate. My brain loves work. It craves work, deadlines, the thrill of almost failing, but if I don’t have the last two, I really like sitting still and reading or doing nothing and just staring at the wall.

Not healthy behavior, staring at a wall, but it’s so interesting to get lost in ones thoughts. Or to just sit there and do nothing.

Coffee has been tasting especially delicious, and I received a box full of new tea flavors for my birthday. That caused quite a few squeals, and I have enjoyed sharing the tea with my mom.

We had the first watermelon of the season and it tasted heavenly. Warm, watery, sweet, and crisp. No hate, but people who can eat soggy, bright red watermelon confuse me. I personally prefer crisp, pink watermelon.

Today, my whole day was lit up by receiving a snailmail letter from a blog reader. So sweet of them to write! ❤

The sky is so blue, it makes me want to just become a part of the sky. I’ve always been bummed that I have brown eyes, since blue is my favorite color. It’s kinda worse in my mind, because my dad and half my siblings have amazing blue eyes, and I got the brown eyed genes. *sighs* But when my eyes look red, I’m not quite so mad any more. XD

Of course, since I have my mom’s eyes, my dad always tells me that he thinks my eyes are the prettiest thing about me. Think he’s a little biased? XD

Banana bread has become a staple in our house, don’t know why.

This post is getting even more boring.

You see, I went to a place where people existed for the first time in two calendar months. (I lost count of weeks.) (Actually, I lost count of everything, lol.) And now I’m kinda like, wow. Insanity has set it. And I’ve lost it all enough to just ramble about nothingness.

So pardon this post.

I’m a bit frazzled.


I Have Caved

Hello, my peoples.

After spending way too much time alone, and considering if my blog life and it’s activities have been productive, I realized there is one thing that typical girls do on their blog, but I have totally neglected.

*cue fanfare of incredulous gasping*

I know. Amie has totally missed a trend, after she’s obviously kept track and followed every trend in the blogsphere. So it’s time to redeem my mistake, and make my debut in this much loved corner of the blogsphere.

Welcome to Amie’s Fashion Advice, where she tries to make everyone look just as stunning as herself. *camera shutters snap as I vainly try to pose*

Today I’m going to be giving you my absolute favorite and best makeup look. Now, makeup isn’t my strong place, unlike everything else in fashion, so please bear with me. Most of the products I’m using are either from My Minerals, or the cheapest thing Walmart had.

I need to order some more stuff from My Minerals, so let me know if you want a review or something sometime. Since I am embarking on my fashionista journey. *hair flip* Anyway, on to the tutorial.


Start off with a clean face! I did start with a bit of liquid eyeliner, because I had been filming for my YouTube, and I find that on camera, a slight bit of eyeliner makes your eyes look 10 times better. (ANY makeup on camera makes you look better, let’s not lie. XD)


Put your hair in a ponytail, and apply concealer. Now, usually I apply a generous amount of concealer under my eyes, on the bridge of my nose, a bit of my forehead, and on my chin, just to lighten up my skin. However, I am plumb out of concealer, and so I scrapped the last little bit and plopped it under my eyes. I also applied some generous amount of foundation under my eyes and left it to bake.


I applied a lighter shade of powder in the middle of my cheeks, and basically anywhere that I didn’t have lots of powder. The goal for this look is to look as white as you can. Unfortunately, since I only have powder foundation, I’m unable to cover my many freckles, and yeah. #freckleproblems

Also, here you can see my wonderful side profile, one of my biggest insecurities. 😂


Next, slather a nice line of black eye shadow on your eyes. I’ve found that black eyeliner/eye shadow honestly does wonders for my eyes, making them look so reddy/brown. (Almost more red than brown, and it’s creepy.) Make sure you don’t add too much black, because then it might smear everywhere, and this black stuff is so hard to take off.

Blend it nicely all over your lids, and hum as you do so. You’re all going to love the end result.


I should have taken the rest of the pictures with my eyes closed, but did I do that? Nooooo. Anyway, I took the second darkest shade I owned, a beautiful metallic grey and put that over half of my lid, and I was happy.


Now, I added extremely thick eyeliner, with slight wings. Wings draw this whole look together, but don’t go haywire with the wings. Just a slight flick of the wrist, and then fill it in, and you’re good. I also added under eyeliner, which kinda gives it a more closed in effect.


To complete the under eye look, I added a light grey, and two darker shades, kinda tampering off from the black liner, so it didn’t look so harsh. Nothing we hate more than harsh lines.

Oh, and somewhere in here, I grabbed a bit of brow gel and just combed my brows, so all the unruly little hairs went in the same direction.

I mean, c’mon, brows. Get the message. You’re all supposed to be marching in the same direction.


Now to the fun part. Using all the rest of my scanty supply of concealer, I totally erased my lips. Now I look like a sick, wax mummy.

I totally understand if you resent looking this way, and if you do, I encourage you to go to the other extreme and slap on some red lipstick. If you want to know how to apply red lip stick, watch this.

I’m totally a professional at makeup tutorials and red lipstick, so you should enjoy that short video.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, the lips.


Paint your lips with the black eyeshadow. I’ve found that it’s best to do the inner part of your bottom lip, outline your top lip, and then rub it all together, if that makes sense.

You know, how when you were a three year old, you would put on chapstick and dramatically rub your lips together? Yeah, that’s what you do with the eyeshadow.

You also could buy black lipstick, but see. I’m just trying to be creative and cut down on waste.


You let down your hair, and voila! You look like you’re a beautiful, dying person. At least, that’s what one person has informed me. My father said that it looks like you have mold on your lips and eyes, and if you want my personal opinion, you could go around saying you have dry gangrene on your lips. Imagine the concern everyone would have.

I have been told by one person that it looks amazing, and I tend to agree with them. Due to squeezing my eyes, you can’t see the color, but I tell you, brown eyed girls, black does wonders to your eye color.

If you want to know what a lighter eye look does with this look (and what Amie’s greasy hair looks like) here you go!

Photo on 4-1-20 at 2.42 PM.jpg

If you want to see the video that cause this look to become a thing, check out my YouTube channel! I post at least one exciting video a week. I’m trying to do more, since everyone is stuck out home, and need something to amuse them.

If you absolutely love my look, make sure to create it, take a picture and post it on some social media platform or email it to me. I have an Instagram account here, if you want to tag me or DM me a picture.

See ya later, sisters.

yes I’m totally becoming a blogsphere James Charles. Watch out for your job, James. The blogsphere is going to be resurrected and I will rise. 


And Here I Ramble

Aloha, peoples.

*comes in sipping coffee* *shakes head*

Coffee and aloha shouldn’t go together, but what can I say? Everything gets mixed up in this head, which basically is the reason I say so many things because there’s like, two people living in me brain, named me and me.

Make sense? Didn’t think so. 😂 Anyway, that has nothing to do with today’s post. Basically, I’m just in here to update you on my life, my mental health, my music…anything that really comes to my mind, because I haven’t done one of these posts in ages, and over half of you didn’t follow my other blog, and I doubt any of you follow my YouTube, so yeah. XD

The past two weeks have been amazingly busy, and even though they contained quite a few spells of depression, and more crying fits than I would like to admit (Yes, I used to say I never cried. The past month has ruined my perfect record, but y’all, I needed to cry, so it’s all good) but those weeks have also brought joy and laughter I haven’t had in months.

First up, I cut off all of my beautiful, lovely hair. *cries because YES I’M A LIAR AND YES I MISS IT DREADFULLY, ESPECIALLY THE PAST FEW DAYS BUT I DID IT SO NO, I’M NOT SORRY*

The pile of my wet hair.

I honestly liked it for a month or so, just because I can roll out of bed and do nothing to my hair, but in the past month, I’ve just missed it. so. very. much. I had to do it, though, because

1. my hair was giving me serious headaches and pain. I was so sick of it.

2. My whole life I’ve wanted to grow my hair out to my waist, I had dreams and plans, it was what little Amie wanted. But NEWS FLASH. I ain’t little Amie no more, and I needed to do it.

3. I was terrified. My hair has always been what I considered “my chief beauty” and I was as vain as Anne Shirley about these locks. So goodbye, they needed to go.

Yes, it was drastic.

Thankfully, for my sake, it’s growing out faster than I expected, so I’m hoping by May it’ll be just past my shoulders.

Another very exciting thing that happened in my life was that I ordered prints of the four books that I’ve completed. It’s so very strange to hold my books in my hands, and just look at them, because like…WHAT? After all those days and nights I labored over them, THEY’RE IN MY HANDS. *mind blown*

Of course, they aren’t published, but Lord Willing, someday they will be, and I’ll be screaming. XD


*is tempted to go work on them, but forces myself to finish this post*

My siblings were absolutely thrilled to be able to read all four of the books, and each one has their favorite. XD My older brother loved my Historical Fiction, “I Must Write” and has plans for me to write an entire Historical Fiction series. (Not that I’m against that. XD)

Rose likes “Across the Border”, which is a Dystopian, and I don’t remember Jay and Little Sis’ favorite books. XD

We entered things into the County fair again! *grins* And I won all first I forgot that I won a second place with one of my pictures. XD So I got four first place ribbons, and a second place. Yes, I’m just a bit proud. XD


I entered my Abraham Lincoln portrait, three pictures in the three different categories, and a poem. 🙂

I’ve been doing a lot more art, finding that painting/drawing calms me when I’m upset/stressed. Destressers are very important folks, or you’ll resort to medicine or unhealthy habits. I just finished a painting, and I have one half finished, and I’m planning another secret painting project. 😏

Thanksgiving was very different than our usual Thanksgiving, and I would be lying if I said I had a good day, but I survived, and by the time dinner rolled around, it was better. *nods* Thanksgiving is a hard day for many reasons, and yeah. *shakes head* I missed me friends. *wipes away tear as I look at the pictures from last year* My, how we’ve grown.


This year we sang at the Nursing Home, and put up a Christmas tree at the Hospital, and just spent time at home. *smiles* But I missed those three girls so much, and hopefully next year, Thanksgiving will be spent with them. ❤

The day after Thanksgiving, I started Vlogmas. And what, pray tell, is vlogmas? Well, me friends, it is where you vlog everyday until Christmas, and I’ve only missed two days, so please, go check out my YouTube here, and comment/watch my videos. 😀 #shamelessselfpromo

Also, for my siblings Christmas presents, I’ve been taking them on experience type gifts, and so you shall see pictures from these events when I do a photography dump, sooner than later. XD

AND NOW FOR THE MOST EXCITING NEWS OF ALL. *cue squealing and running around in circles, and trying not to die from cuteness*

No, I didn’t get a new pet. 😂


I’M AN AUNT. My older sister had her baby, and Little K is DE SWEETEST little thing ever. 😍 I might think she’s the best thing that happened in 2019, but then again…she’s the most exciting RECENT thing. But babies are better than ‘most everything, so I’m probably safe in saying it. XD

And that’s caught you up to me at the moment. I’m so excited to be an aunt, I’m looking forward to my hair growing out, and celebrating Christmas, and guys. THREE WEEKS UNTIL 2020.

I leave you with that momentous thought.


Etsy Reviews!

What’s up, folks? Been awhile, right? Well, today I’m here to review some products from different Etsy shops. Eep! I’m so excited.

Disclaimer #1: I’m not a model, and this was one of the most awkward things I’ve done, so bear with me and the awkward photos. XD

Disclaimer #2: I received these products in exchange for an honest review.


First up we have this necklace that I’m absolutely in love with. 😍 So…Before I get into the actual review, it’s story time. My favorite movie and book is “Unbroken.” After watching the movie and rereading the book, I knew I wanted a necklace or bracelet that said Unbroken to remind me of everything in that story.

Well, The Winking Cat had one!

I was thrilled when this beauty came in the mail. I can’t gush about how amazing the packaging looked! Shopping from Etsy will spoil you rotten, because the shops do an amazing job of packaging your order and making you so special.

Since receiving this necklace, I’ve worn it pretty much every time I’ve gone out of the house. It’s simple, beautiful, and well-made. I’m in love with it, and I couldn’t be happier. I would rate it all five stars, and more!


I’ve been stalking Rustic Lane Jewelry on Instagram for awhile now, and I finally decided to reach out to Morgan and ask to review a bracelet. I must say I’m very thankful I did! Not only was Morgan a pleasure to talk to, her shop is truly amazing, with a piece of jewelry to match pretty much any style.

When I ordered this bracelet, I was a bit afraid that it would be uncomfortable, but I shouldn’t have feared. it says be fearless, after all. XD It’s adorable to stack or to wear alone, and it hasn’t gotten scratched yet, which is another plus. Besides, isn’t the font adorable? I would give this bracelet all the stars, because it certainly deserves it!


Next up we have SCRUNCHIES! Now, this was extremely fun, because I contacted Athena about reviewing the scrunchies and she picked out the colors, so I was extremely surprised to open the package and see what colors she chose.

Cutiee Creations is such a fun shop, and ahhh, the scrunchies! I received a velvet scrunchie and a black-and-white checkered one. Personally, I like the velvet one best, because ahhhhh, it’s SO soft! But I love the black-and-white checkered one because it looks classy. 😉

Again, I couldn’t find a better shop!


And now we have this beautiful hair scarf! Catrina was amazing and super easy to work with, and ahhhh, the scarf? It’s a wonderful material and such a pretty color. I absolutely love all that DreamsUnbrokenCo offers, and I couldn’t be happier with this scarf. Again, FIVE STARS! If you’re looking for hair products, I would totally recommend checking out DreamsUnbrokenCo.


Eep! Now for this beautiful shirt that I’m in love with. BlockMerch is an awesome shop that has all different designs for every all different kinds of people. They even have another writer shirt!

I got a uni-sex shirt, size medium, and it is a perfect fit. I did notice that it’s on the longer side, which makes me, as a tall human being, very happy, but if you have a smaller torso, you might not appreciate it as much. XD

The fabric is extremely soft and yeah. Again, all the stars. It was exactly what I was looking for, and I was surprised by how soft the fabric is, and how nice the words are printed on. I would definitely recommend looking into BlockMerch’s shirts. 🙂


And lastly we have this super cute tee! I was very excited to receive this shirt, since I’ve been wanting to show my love for my state in a cute way, and voila! This shirt is certainly the way to do it.

I received a medium, and it fits well. I will say that I was surprised that the shirt was extremely light material, which means it’s adorable to layer…But not otherwise. XD Haley was awesome to work with, and SterlingCustomsShop has some adorable shirts, so you should certainly check them out!

I definitely give this shirt five stars. 🙂

And those are my reviews! Definitely suggest checking out all the amazing shops.


Birthday Haul ~2019~

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In my last post, I inquired if y’all would enjoy a birthday haul, and the votes were unanimously in favor of that venture, and so today I’m here with that post.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not putting this up to show how much I was blessed with.  I typically enjoy these kinds of posts, and I thought you would as well.  I’m not trying to brag.

So, let’s dive into this post!


To start with, my older brother gave me a knife, which I REALLY wanted, and was very happy to receive.  Honestly, it’s a very handy tool, especially when you’re gardening or something like that.


My two really good friends bought me this book for my birthday.  As you can see, it’s already been well loved.  *coughs* I wasn’t the one that did that, though.  My siblings borrowed the book, and it came back looking like we’d had it for two years.  😐


My other really good friend got me this book, and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  THE FEELS.  *tries to keep from sniffling* It’s SO GOOD.  I spent a whole day out of our vacation reading it.  It was one of those books that was so good that I had to put it down or else I would start crying.  Totally recommend it. 😉



The same friend also gave me these nail things, which I haven’t used yet.  They kinda confuse me, you know?  But I’ll figure out the there’s eight fingers, and how they work soon enough.


My sweet friend Allison sent me this package full of bunny stuff!  I was thrilled to see the envelopes, which have literally been in my Etsy cart since they were released, and bunny Washi tape!  Also, Snowball enjoys his little crackers greatly, though the rice puffs he doesn’t like.  I gave one to Star, and she ate it…So they might be her treats.  😂


Because I love the Washi tape so much, I had to do a close up picture of it all by itself.  It’s even cuter on an envelope.  AH!!! and the bunnies hopping on it are ADORABLE.  It’s so cute.  ❤


And then my friend Megan gave me one of her penpal kits, some hello Washi tape, and cow socks!  THE SOCK ARE SO CUTE.  I was beyond happy to see them, as well as the penpal kit.  I’ve also had one of the kits in my cart for awhile.  😂


Because Megan’s penpal kits are so amazing, I decided to spread it all out and take a picture of every included in the kit.  It’s SO worth the money, so you should check out her Etsy shop here.


And my brother also gave me this book, since I love poems and songs, and I love the Civil war.  I haven’t read it yet, but I’ll read it soon.


My little sister gave me this book, and again, I haven’t read it, so I don’t have much to say on it. 😉


I received this sketch book from one of my younger sisters, and I can’t wait to start using it!  I don’t have a sketch book at the moment, so it was wonderful to receive one.


My other sisters gave me a lot of stationary and cards to color, which I use and I enjoy doing.  Dayspring has the best cards and stuff EVER.  (In my humble opinion.)


And then my dear friend Elizabeth sent me this really neat coloring book, full of horses!  It’s very neat, and it’s color by numbers. (Wow, the title actually said that, Amie.)


And then my really sweet friend, Hannah, sent me these AWESOME gel pens, LOTS AND LOTS of tea, and then she also gave me one of Erin Paine’s album.


*rubs hands together in excitement* And this beauty is what Aria sent me for my birthday.  It’s full of makeup, which was exciting and surprising for this person here.  I’ve never ever dabbled with makeup, but for awhile I’ve wanted to, so yeah.


IT’S SO PWETTY!  I just like staring at the colors of the bottles, honestly.  I’m still figuring it out on my face, but yeah.  It’s lots of fun, and I’m so thankful for it!


And then my friend, Laura, sent me an awesome coffee cup that says, “I write, what’s your super power?” The funny story behind it is that it came straight from the company, and so I didn’t know who it was from.  It’s kinda neat to get mysterious packages, you know?  But I asked Laura, and it turned out to be from her. ❤

I did receive a few other things, but I didn’t feel like taking pictures of them.  😂 Wow, I just clicked emojis, and I didn’t have to choose which one I wanted!  The one that I always use came up first.

ANYWAY, thanks for sticking around and looking at this stuff.  And thanks to everyone that sent me birthday wishes!


Brutally Honest

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Well, guys.  This isn’t going to be the usual Crazy A post.  Probably because I don’t feel like the usual Amie.  I’m going to be brutally honest about my life right now.  Brutally.

I’m not doing this to receive likes, or for sympathy.  I’m doing this because someone out there is going through something similar, and they need to know that they’re not alone.

I’ve hinted that my life hasn’t been easy.  Since March I’ve been struggling with things.  I’m not going to give you a whole run down on everything because that would take too long, and you would be bored by the end of it.

But in March, I just kinda lost my drive.  Lost my want to do anything.  I lost me.

And that was the scariest thing that had ever happened to me.


There’s this part of me that’s outgoing, bubbly, fun-loving, and takes everything in a stride.  It felt as if she was frozen inside of me, and instead of pushing me onward, dreaming huge dreams, and having ambitions, she was a heavy weight that pulled me down in the sea of life.

And I was afraid she wouldn’t come back.

I didn’t want to get up in the morning, and I ate constantly, hoping that eating would help her come back.  She came back for short snippets, but I felt so alone, so lost, and so empty.

During this time, my dad was having tests because the doctors had noticed something wasn’t right.  At the end of March, he went in to have a scope of his pancreas, which led to pancreatitis, and a rushed visit to the ER, which ended with him staying in the hospital for a week.

A week in which my brother and I were responsible for watching my siblings.

The day that my dad left for the hospital, I cried like I haven’t cried in a long time.  I was scared and I was mad.  The part of me that was frozen, dead-weight was heavier than ever before.  I tried calling my best friend, but she didn’t answer, and I felt so alone in that moment.

But here’s the part you need to know before you feel sorry for me.  I chose to be alone.  My siblings were downstairs.  Most, if not all, of them came upstairs to check on me.  My three-year-old sister hugged me, but I sent her away.

I have this strange idea that I have to protect myself from other people loving me.  I have to keep myself to myself, and just be a happy friend, a listening friend, a loving sister to the people around me.  And when I’m hurting, or alone, I should keep to myself.  No one wants my emotional baggage, right?


We weren’t born into this world to live alone.  A quote that I love by George MacDonald says, “The desire to be loved–which is neither wrong nor noble, any more than hunger is either wrong or noble–and the delight in being loved, to be devoid of which a man must be lost in immeasurably deeper, in an evil, ruinous, yea, a fiendish selfishness. Not to care for love is the still worse reaction from the self-foiled and outworn greed of love.”

I’m selfish, because I believe it’ll be easier for everyone involved if they don’t have to take care of me.  My mom and I were talking about this the other day, and she made a good point.  If someone loves you, one of the ways they want to show that is taking care of you, even if that’s only listening to how you feel.

And that night, or a few nights after, I was able to have an amazing talk with my best friend.  She listened to me, I let my guard down, and she cried with me.  And honestly, that made the whole week so much easier than it would have been otherwise.

She confronted me, and told me that I was living in fear.  And she was right.  I was afraid of change.  I was afraid of what might happen with my dad.  I was afraid of people hurting me.  I was afraid of being me, and I was afraid of being honest about how I felt.

My best friend is a prayer warrior, and honestly, I can’t thank God enough for putting her in my life.  I honestly wouldn’t know what to do without her good morning text.  But even a good morning text didn’t keep me from disappearing within myself.

When my dad came home, he was so weak from not eating for a whole week.  My mom was stressed, which was expected, but my home felt charged with electricity.  I felt in the way and like I was just stressing everyone more, and so I left to stay in my room.


The next day was April Fool’s, so I was stupid and joined a prank online that failed.  The joke ended up annoying and hurting people.  It’s all forgiven now, but that night I stayed up until one, wishing I could cry, but not being able to.  I hurt so badly because I had hurt other people.  It was also too late for me to talk to anyone, and so I didn’t tell my parents for two or three days.  It just hurt.

That Tuesday I felt like the world was smushing me.  I wasn’t feeling well due to allergies (I had them so bad this year.  *groans*) and I just didn’t have the desire to live, or to do anything.  But you know what?  A friend sent me a playlist of songs, and as I laid on the floor of my room, I listened to truth.  Just plain, beautiful, truth.  I didn’t heal all the way, and the me I was missing didn’t come home, but the fact that they actually sent me those songs meant a lot to me.

(Music is such a personal thing to me, that when people actually send me songs, or care what I listen to, it means so much.)

I don’t talk much about my music on my blog.  It’s a part of me that’s like an emotional release.  Similar to writing, but to me music is more personal.  And I haven’t had any energy or desire to be serious about it.  The beginning of this year, I arranged three songs, and I played dozens of songs, but the past two months have been a dry spell.

I didn’t feel the need to play music.  I didn’t see how it would fit in my future, and I didn’t see how it was benefiting myself or others.  I was tired of trying to do everything, and tired of being me.

 Actually, I was tired of trying to be me when the person I always thought was me wasn’t there.

I felt like I couldn’t talk about it because there wasn’t anyone to talk to.  My mom saw something was wrong, and I can’t begin to say how thankful I am for her pulling it out of me and listening to me.

And then I had an asthma attack.  I’ve never had “asthma,” though for the last two years I’ve had trouble breathing, especially in the spring/summer months.  I spent a whole morning panting, because I needed to get through church.  When I almost passed out, I let my mom take me to the urgent care.  Thankfully, they cleared everything up and now I have the medicines I need.

But not feeling well depressed me even more.  I just want to disappear, but again, I couldn’t let people know how I felt, and so I just kinda pretended I was okay to all my friends.  I’ve never understood depression, I don’t know if I would say I was depressed, and so I didn’t want everyone to think I had something wrong with me.

I stopped eating because I just didn’t want food. Food didn’t taste good to me; I was unhappy, and I was mad at myself for being unhappy.  And so I was just in a deep hole, and I didn’t know how to get out.

During this time I got so many encouraging emails from my newsletter followers, and from friends.  But doubt crept in, telling me that they didn’t know the real Amie.  If they did, the wouldn’t love me any more.  They wouldn’t care for me.  They wouldn’t say those nice things or try to encourage me.

But I’ve fought the lies.  People in my life DO care.  And they want to show that they care by loving me, and by helping me out and praying for me.

My dad has been diagnosed with cancer, and my life has been rather on the strange side as my whole family tries to take care of him, and each other.  I’m trying to stay optimistic, to keep the me that has been frozen alive.  I’m forcing myself to keep on top of the things I’ve committed to, and forcing myself to answer people, to pretend everything is normal.

But not everything is normal.


My life isn’t normal, and I’ve got to accept that.  There is no such thing as “normal” in the way that we think.  It’s something that everyone strives after, and someday we all have to accept the fact that there is no normal, or else we’ll live very unhappy lives.

The past week I’ve opened up to more people about my life at the moment, and so many people have begun praying for me and my family.  I’m hungry again, I’m happy again, and I’ve learned something.

We don’t hold the key that lets us out of ourselves, out of our depression, but we hold something even better.  We have the Bible, and that gives us the key.  If you’ve never read the Bible, if you’ve never spent time in God’s word, I would encourage you to start.

You’ll never really be happy and at peace until you meet the Prince of Peace.  For He gives us the peace that surpasses all understanding. (Philippians 4:7)




Things Amie Gets Wrong

What’s up, y’all?  The spring weather is really kinda annoying me.  It’s too hot for long sleeves, and yet too cold for short sleeves.  I guess this is the weather for quarter sleeves, but I’ve never found much use for quarter sleeves.  There’s only about four weeks out of a year that you can wear them where I live without getting too cold or too hot.

Anywho!  That has nothing to do with todays post, but the weather is important to Amie, and it sets the mood, so it needs to be addressed.  Now that Mr. Weather has duly been noted, we may continue.

Today we’re talking about things that Amie somehow gets wrong. Almost EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

It’s rather embarrassing, to be honest, but also humorous, so Amie has decided to embarrass herself in this post.  The only way she can get through it is by talking about herself in the third person, so don’t think she’s lost her marbles.  (She actually lost all her marbles when she was nine.  They fell out of her pocket when she was walking, and a few went down the drain.  Rest in peace, my her dear marbles!)

Ready to get started?  (This is a rather long intro.)

1. 911

Okay, numbers shouldn’t be confusing for Amie, right?  She’s dreamed multiple times that she couldn’t remember the number, and was panicking because she needed it.  911 is super complex to remember.  It’s 9-1-1, but those three numbers can become 1-9-1, or 1-1-9!

Amie always second guesses herself to make sure she has it right when it comes to any numbers.  Amie isn’t always the best at numbers.  5 usually becomes 50 and 3 becomes 6 when she talks.

2. Pint Sounds like Pinto?

Amie says she is able to say read languages, but unable to speak them, which has been a problem for her her whole life.  Pint somehow ends up like pinto, Quebec sounds like Q-beck, and so many other words are spoken as she thinks they should sound, instead of what they actually sound like.

At least she doesn’t lisp anymore. 😉

3. She still needs a sippy cup?

The song above about explains Amie.  Once a day, she misjudges the distance between her mouth and the cups, and a beverage spills on the front of Amie’s shirt.  Thankfully, she doesn’t drink grape juice.  😉 Just coffee and water.  (Though coffee stains are hard to remove…)

4. The keyboard

Apparently the keyboard doesn’t like Amie.  She often reaches for an exclamation point, and ends up with 1.  Or she forgets about holding shift, and < and > show up throughout her typing.  Imagine how terrible it would be if Amie didn’t edit her posts!

5. Pants

Pants can be hard to wear, can’t they? Especially when you’re excited to face a new day, and so you jump up and try to pull it super fast, except you end up doing a split.  Amie has a hard time refraining her excited nature, and so it often ends up coming out in the weirdest times.  Like, pulling on pants.  Or dancing in the parking lot at church.

6. Spelling

Amie’s never claimed fame when it comes to spelling.  Especially since so many words in the English language don’t sound as they spell.  A strange fact about Amie is that she can’t pronounce a word she can’t spell.  Odd, isn’t it?

It takes a lot to teach Amie how to spell a word, but she’s proud when she gets spaghetti and pancreatitis right.  Don’t forget about how hard it is to spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  (And she didn’t have any help from spell check!)

Screen Shot 2019-03-29 at 9.16.01 PM.png7. Toilet Paper

Amie has absolutely no care which side the toilet paper is on.  Like, does life really hang on the matter if the toilet paper is over or under? To Amie, life just hangs on the matter that there is paper.

8. Right and Left?

Amie has inherited from her mom a disability.  The inability to know the difference between right and left.  It cripples her ability to give directions, and to understand which way to write b and d.  (Thankfully, she overcame that obstacle.)   Now, she wears a ring on her right hand to know, but it still takes her a second to look down and tell you if you should turn right or left.  (So if you ask for directions, you’ll get a lot of hand motions. 😂)

Okay, guys.  I tried to think of ten things, but I can’t for the life of me.  Except for something I only occasionally get wrong.  I obsess over cutting hair, and for the most part, I’m pretty good at it.  Like everyone else, I have some pretty bad stories behind me (*cringes*), but today I kinda destroyed my brother’s hair.  And he’s still mad at me.  I tried a mohawk, but it looked like a drunk barber was trying to recreate the leaning tower of Pisa.  So, now he doesn’t have much hair.

And that’s all for today.  Can you relate?  What are some things that you get wrong?

And I’m over and out.


Taste Your Tongue

What’s up, folks?  Spring is on its way, making me want to open the windows, but at the same time avoiding it because I don’t want pollen all over everything.  😂  Don’t you wish there was some way to avoid pollen?  Because if there was, I would totally avoid it.

Anyway, today we’re talking about tongues.  Well, really, a tongue.  It’s not my normal post, but hey!  You like lifestyle, strange posts, and today I’m here to bring it to you.

But before we get into the post, I must tell you.  Don’t sit on children’s benches while you’re watching nursery.  The bench might just crumple underneath you.  (Not like I would know from experiance though...I learned from experiance.)

I’m an adventuresome person, especially when it comes to food.  I don’t like eating, but if you must eat, you might as well try something different every time, right?  (As an example, pepperoni, seaweed, and goats cheese is a combo I have actually eaten.)  At least, that’s my philosophy, so I finally managed to convince my mom to buy me this…


Well, it’s actually two cow tongues.  If anyone loves reading books about the West in the 1800s, you should know that bison tongue is considered the best part of the bison.  If that’s what they thought about the bison, why wouldn’t it be true about cow tongues?  And so I’ve wanted cow tongue for a while now.

The tongue comes with the skin still on it, which made my heart so happy.  I’m a weird person, and I spend about five minutes in front of the mirror just looking at the papillae on my tongue, because they’re just so cool.  So the thought of touching the cow’s papillae made me extremely happy.


I pretty much just sat there for a few minutes rubbing my fingers against it and shivering in happiness.  It felt like, AMAZING.

So, the first thing we my mom did after taking it out of the package was throwing it into the crock pot with some onions, and left it cooking overnight.


So, the next morning, my mom took it out, and the next step was skinning it, which was easier than we all thought it would be.  The skin pretty much just fell off of the meat.


And it smelled delicious!  (At least to me, my mom said she got super grossed out while she made it.)  I was impatient for dinner to come so we could try it.  *shivers with expectation*

My mom fried it in a frying pan with more onions, and it kinda just shredded itself.  She served it with horseradish sauce.


We also had delicious greens and French fries with it.  AND GUYS.  CAN I PLEASE HAVE MORE?  It tasted similar to mutton, which is one of my favorites, and yet it still had the delicious beef flavor, and I WANT MORE.  PLEASE?!

So I encourage you to try beef tongue if you’re looking for a new thing to eat.  It wasn’t very labor intensive, and it tasted A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

Do you enjoy food posts like this?  What is the craziest thing you’ve eaten?  Do you like new foods?


(Yes, two cows were actually harmed in the making of this post.)