Reach Anyway

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I am me.

Sunshine and rainbows, stars and shadows, laughter and tears, sarcasm and genuine concern, coffee and tea, hot and cold, stone and flesh, a walking contradiction.

I like me.

The person that dances on her bed at 11:30 at night, keeping her little sister awake. The person that can’t function in the morning, so please, don’t wake me up after the sun has risen. The person that can wake up at 5:30am and function, exercising, laughing, listening to sermons.

I’m growing.

Clothes that don’t work, my style changing, inhaling more coffee, midnight is my favorite time, hair changed, glasses discarded.

The past was beautiful, but so is the present. The sunshine warms my face, the wind blows through my layers. I’m not alone, trials have weeded through people, leaving me with the keepers.

I’m older. Now I can work, smiling at the little children who I give an apple. I talk about pixie dust and coffee with a customer, laugh about Disney with my boss. I’m left alone at a market, in charge, handling business and wondering how this is legal.

I was a child, I still am. How can someone trust me to take command?

I have my own money. I make the decision whether I should get an almond milk and honey latte, or save the money for later. But man, Starbucks is better than eating lunch, so you better believe I choose to spend that four dollars.

Of course, I’m still a child and I’m not allowed to order Mexican for dinner. 😑

I can walk through the neighborhood by myself, I have freedom to make my own schedule. I’m old enough to play violin at church, no longer the little girl that admired the older girls in the pew.

I am the older girl.

I can carry the seven-year-old and make her laugh. Running up the hill, pretending to let the four-year-olds beat me. Pushing, swinging, laughing, being.

The shadows that appeared as I grew haven’t blocked my vision. In a way, they’re there because they’ve expanded my vision. The stars I reached for as a child seem farther away. But I know that with a step, every day, I’ll reach one, someday.

Masterpieces appear underneath my unskilled hands, books devoured by my curious mind, words spilled out by my hasty lips. Life isn’t as bad as it first looks. Coffee inhaled, tea sipped, ramen cooked.

I finally have the dog I always wanted. I’m responsible enough to have a rabbit. (Though my parents would say that’s debatable.) I don’t know what will happen during the rest of 2020. I don’t know where the summer and spring will lead.

But I know something.

As each minute passes, I’m growing. As each moment passes, I’m changing.

Not drastically, but slowly.

And I’m okay with that.

Coffee might not forever remain my thing. My laughter might not always ring at the same things. People might be wrong, people might be right.

I might be wrong.

But I’ll learn what’s right.

Regardless of the clouds that cover the stars, I know right where they are. Sometimes one of the stars will be farther away, sometimes that star wasn’t meant for me to take. But that’s okay.

Stars are for dreaming, stars are for reaching. Sometimes the ones we take hold of aren’t the ones we dreamed of, but that’s okay. Because the stars we hold are better than the ones we wanted.

Reach for the stars and accept the change. Look towards the sky and know that regardless of how you change, it’ll remain. Blue, grey, dusky black. Red, orange, pink, with all the colors the world might lack.

Don’t let the clouds determine your day. Reach for the stars anyway.

~~Amie~~

Motivation for Every New Day

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*takes a long sip of coffee* 

Today I’m not exactly sure where this post will go, but I want it more hype, so hang on as I turn on my hype playlist. 😉 Okey, we’re ready to start writing. So, just fyi, taking your siblings on dates is a super fun thing to do, and I would totally advise it. It’s the only way I can justify buying coffee for myself. 😂

But today our post is about something that I struggle with. Motivation for every new day.

I’m the person that loves to have a deadline set by someone else. I have a month to do this, a week to do that, I have to have this done by tomorrow night. I thrive on doing everything last minute, my brain seems to get so many ideas right before the deadline, and I can actually crack down and work on things.

But once that’s over, what’s next?

How do you wake up every morning without a goal and find motivation to do exactly what you did the day before?

I’m not sure what it’s like once you graduate, but for me while I’m still in school, it’s really hard to get up five days out of the week, workout, practice the same songs I played the day before, and do the next lesson in each of my classes. Sometimes it feels like the only thing that changes is what people post online, and what I create in my own mind. (Especially if we’re eating the leftovers that we ate the day before.)

I’m a paradox. I love and hate change. The less I see of change, the more I hate it, and the more I crave it. Without change, I get stuck in my head, loosing sight of reality.

Let me tell you, when the thoughts in your head become more real than the world around you, you’ve got yourself a problem. So how? How do you stay grounded and create your own change?

Listen to lots of different music.

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Music creates different emotions and if you keep changing up your playlists, and the artists you listen to, I’ve found it helps pull me out of my head, and realize that not every day is the same.

I hate shuffle. I like knowing exactly what song is coming next, I like being positive about the order of everything, but I’ve found that eliminating surprise from life eliminates the force of the outside world.

Dress up.

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Wait, what? I’m a slob when it comes to my clothing. I would literally wear sweatpants or jeans with a sweatshirt/tunic and jacket all winter long. But I’ve found that being intentional occasionally pulls me out of my rut of being a slob, and gives me confidence to take the day on, even if it’s the same as the day before.

Also, I mean, why not change your outfits? If you have comfy fancy clothes (like ruffly socks. 😍) then why not dress fancy every now again?

Talk to someone.

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This is the biggest one. I hate phone calls, and sometimes I don’t like making time to video chat, but being able to talk to someone totally helps. It often gives me a new look on life, and inspires me creatively.

Even the most introverted introvert needs human interaction, and I think that’s something a lot of people forget. We need to take time in our busy schedules to talk with people, and build relationships.

If you aren’t able to do any of these things, do one thing that is so important. Pray and exercise. Those two things can change your whole outlook on a day, and help make it better. ❤

What are some of your favorite ways to change up a day? Do you have trouble with the same thing every day, or do you enjoy it?

~~Amie~~