I See the Sun

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I see the sun through the evening shower

I know the sun in spite of this midnight hour

Each day it’s there, warming my heart

Even though it’s so hard to see in the dark.

I have been telling myself I won’t let myself grieve. I won’t mourn, I’ll be fine. Just keep moving, looking to the next day.

But last week was one of those weeks that just called for a lot of sorrow, mixed in with a strange type of joy.

Last week I was supposed to be seeing my friends. Hugging them, laughing with them. I was supposed to stand next to one of my favorite people as she pledged her life to her love.

But I sat in my kitchen instead, watching a screen.

There are so many things we’re all missing out on because we’re trying to stay safe. We’re trying to show Christlike love, by putting other’s health and safety before our own. And I’m so happy that I get to do that, that I get to stay home, and that I’m able to keep myself alive for years in the future.

But it’s also okay to be sad.

To grieve.

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So many lives lost. So many memories not happening. So many people we miss. So many hugs we’ve lost. So many moments of laughter that we’re not having.

It’s okay to curl up on your bed and take a deep breath, to let the tears free. It’s okay to hurt, to wonder why. It’s okay.

But always remember that there is a sunshine behind the clouds, and a tomorrow after today. Maybe not this year, maybe not now. Maybe it’ll never be like you thought it should, but you will have something good in the future. Maybe I won’t be hugging my friends this year, not laughing with them, or rooming with them at a writing conference.

But next year.

Next time.

Tomorrow.

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It’s still empty and full of possibility, full of hugs, full of companionship, and worth waiting for, worth going through pain today.

As someone once said, “A moment of pain is worth a lifetime of glory.”

A year of loneliness is worth a lifetime of health and companionship. And for that reason, I’m going to stay home, wishing to be with my favorite people. For that reason, I’ll be Skyping instead of hugging. And for that reason, I’ll be letting myself cry.

Tomorrow still has sunshine,

~~Amie~~

Safety

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Hello, folks!

I was supposed to write a post yesterday. And I was supposed to write a post Monday.

*looks  at the sun and sighs* I am sitting out on the front porch, soaking in the warmth and sunshine. I’m not allowed to go any farther, due to this awesome season in world history, but at least I can get some vitamin D, and hopefully avoid sun burn.

To be very honest, this whole thing has been hard for me. I see so many amazing encouragement posts by so many different people, but most of them mean nothing. Except for the ones that say “stay safe.”

By saying stay safe, they’re not assuming your emotions, not assuming what you’re experiencing, not putting you in a box of panic stricken humans, or guessing that you’re an angsty rebel.

They’re simply asking you to protect yourself. And by protecting yourself, you’ll be protecting others.

I think something that we often forget is just that. In a way, by taking care of ourselves, we’re taking care of others. In a way, even mental unhealthiness can be spread to others. Tension, anxiety, fear, and even joy are contagious. Concern and care for others is also contagious, and I think that’s what we need to remember through this scary time.

Spread joy and love, not fear and anxiety. Fill the house with dance music, not silent tension. Your mental health will be so much better during quarantine.

Maybe after it’s all over, I’ll write a post about what my personal experience with quarantine was like. If y’all would like that. But right now, as some of you are just practicing social distancing, remember.

Stay safe.

I don’t know your mindset about this, I don’t know what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, or how this effects your schedules. But I do know this. I want all of you to stay safe, I want the death rates in the US to stay as low as possible, and I want this to strengthen and mold our characters.

So yes, I’m skipping this week’s women of history post. I don’t know if I can write another history post at the moment, I’m struggling to write anything at all.

And that’s okay.

So now I’m going to announce the giveaway winner!

The winner is . . .

Natalia!

Congratulations, Natalia! I’ll be emailing you shortly with all the details. I hope you guys all enjoyed the blog tour, and if you haven’t checked out Jana’s post, or Jo’s post, or Esmeralda’s or any of them, check out this post here, which will have the links to the different blogs.

Like I said before, stay safe. 😉

~~Amie~~