Traditions Untraditionally


*comes dancing in, eating gluten free Oreos and singing Sound of Music*

How are y’all today? I’m superb, wonderful, and absolutely happy. Today I’m talking about Christmas traditions! The funny thing is that we have a very important tradition that we keep every single year.

And that, my dear friend, is breaking all traditions.

It’s very important to follow this tradition, so you must change the day that you put up decorations every year, and remind everyone in your family that traditions are not important. (Yes, we aren’t Catholic.)

So…here are some pointers for breaking traditions, and telling people that you break traditions.

  1. Be very careless when you do Christmas things.

In other words, don’t invite people every year, don’t eat the same foods every year, if people say you’re supposed to put up a tree, put up a bush! Christmas cards? Hah, why not Christmas leaves? Be creative and figure out new ways to break traditions and still be festive.

2. Never follow what books or other people say.

*shakes head slowly* If you listen to people and books, you might actually become smart. Or slightly educated. And when it comes to traditions, never never become educated. You might actually have your mind be changed on important matters.

3. Be very unemotional when you explain your tradition of breaking traditions with people.

That’s right, pretend you’re a stone. If people don’t like it, all’s the better. At least they won’t try to come to your house during the Christmas season and be astonished by vibrant blue tinsel and flashing caution lights. Also, if you’re unemotional, they’ll consider you as happy the way you are.

4. Convince other people to join your tradition of breaking traditions.

It’s not much fun to do everything alone, so CONVINCE YOUR FRIENDS. Continually show them how amazing it is to just neglect all traditions and go down the “weirdo” street of nonconformity to culture.

In fact, BREAK even the tradition of celebrating Christmas, if you want to go that far. But never conform to the culture or to traditions. Instead, stand up and do celebrate, or choose not to celebrate, in spite of the pressure of peers, tradition, and culture.