I Want to Know

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God, who am I?

You are my child. (John 1:12 ,Galatians 3:26)

What do you want me to do?

Know me and make me known. (Jeremiah 24:7, 2 Peter 3:18, James 4:8)

How can I do that with my blog? All the blogging experts talk about a niche, finding your message, and sharing it. How can I do that? What is my message?

Know me and make me known.

Well, that certainly helped me. Do you mean by having a lifestyle blog, or a Christian living blog, or a deep thoughts blog like I already have? Do you mean by just joking around and bring light into people’s lives? Do I even make people think?

Know me and make me known.

And that is super helpful. I just want to know what to do with my blog. I need to have answers here.

Know me and make me known.

That’s super helpful, God. You’ve said that before. I do know and  will know You better and I’m trying to make you known. But there are so many different ways to do that. Everyone has a different calling to share the message of Christ crucified, resurrected, and sitting at the right hand of God. What is mine?


What is mine?

The phrase was left floating in my head until yesterday, when I read two different things. In a book, the main character struggles with her calling, and another character points out that maybe we don’t have one specific calling or purpose in life. At least, not in the way the normal Evangelical Christian has been taught to think about callings.

Our purpose is in the greatest commandment, which is to love God with all our heart, all our mind, and all our soul. (Matthew 22:37) That in turn should shape everything else we say, think or do. (Of course it won’t, because we’re sinners, but we can still strive. Which is what this book was about.)

The second thing I read was an article on a writing community I’m a part of. The article writer (Rebecca Davis) stated that our message will be shaped organically by God as we live life.

Now, I’ve lived through some things, even though I’m still so young, but I hate talking about them. Hating reliving the memories I’ve purposefully buried, the ones that shape my nightmares, my ambitions, and my past. So during an interview, I asked her about sharing messages that cause you pain.

And her answer was intriguing. God grants us the gift of numbness for a time, when we’re going through the pain. And when we’re given the gift of numbness, the best thing to do is find someone who can help us and makes sure we’re safe.

But after awhile, we awake from the numbness to sharp pain. And when the sharp pain comes, it’s hard to think of anything besides that. Besides what’s been hurt, what’s been broken, what’s been lost.

At the end of the day, however, it’s not your pain that’ll define you and stay forever. It’s the lessons you learn during the pain. At times, you might be called to share your pain while you walk through it. (I’ve done some of that!) Other times, however, you may never share your pain, you may never let that be apart of the message, but you still have the lessons that bleed over into your other messages.


God, I want to know what’s next. I want to know what to do.

*silence*

Okay, well, I’ll just —

“When you don’t know what to do, just do the thing in front of you.”

Huh. Then I guess I’ll write a blog post.

~~Amie~~

Doesn’t End Like That

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You never got the chance to know me
Packed it up and crossed the state
You left behind more than memories
Now when I sleep I’m only dreaming of your face
You never got the chance to hold me
I learned to love your selfish way
I still believe in you

So wrapped up in your selfish ways, taking and taking, leaving me spinning round and round, unable to touch the ground. Whenever I treated you better than you could understand, you’d leave me wondering how kindness could hurt you.

You said you were my friend, holding out your hand to help me off the ground, offering to dry the tears that streamed from my shattered heart. And yet, after you bandaged the wounded organ, you shattered it with it into a hundred parts, leaving me bleeding alone.

How did I love your selfish way? Why do I still believe in your flawed nature? Why do I see all the good things you could be if you just let the light shine through your firm barricades?

And in this burning room
I’ll suffer through the pain

Left gasoline on my walls before you peaced out, telling me it was my problem that I was the way I am. Lit a match and threw it behind you, burning my soul inside the metal walls I built for my own protection. You say I’m not worth attention, so I’ll sit alone and suffer through my emotions.

You told me I was weak to feel pain, fear, and pitiful to let the tears free. I should be the bouncy, happy girl I used to be before. Years ago when I first met you?

Darling, listen. Time wears away the childlike joy you felt at ten. It takes time to find the joy given by the Spirit within. It takes time to find out who you are, despite the pain that’s shaped your life.

Oh no, got me low, how you gonna leave like that?
Oh no, got me low, you’re gone and I want you back.
Oh no, down so low, feeling like I’m under attack.
Oh no, where’d you go? You’re gone and I want you.

Instagram posts have pulled at my defense, your comments are destroying my stern vision. How are you gonna ghost me like that? Last year we were together and talked about forever, being friends until we’re both old and toothless, laughing about our teenage stupidity.

Now I’m alone, sitting on the floor, wondering if I’ll feel the same at fifty. How are you going to leave like that? If you came back, would I let you in?

I never wanted you to change
Call me up and I’ll be running
Loose my breath calling out your name
(Leave Like That, SYML)

I sent texts, DMs, and letters. Hoping you’d forgive my stupid blunder. But if my blunder was being a good friend, would I really want you to forgive me for caring? Would I really want you to forgive me for sharing my love, my time?

Were you really the people I needed? Or were you only taking up the place of people who love and care about the real me, not the me they’ve created in their heads. Maybe the best thing for both you and me was for us to part.

So I could find me. So I could be me.

Without feeling guilty for not being what you want me to be.

And now I can smile and sing the song that I can only sing while reaching for the stars. I now have people behind me who love me, despite what I can be or will be. They smile and laugh with me over my stupidity, understand when I tell them seriously about my worries, and hug me when the darkness in my mind is louder than all of reality.

People who care.

Even when I pretend that I don’t need them.

Because I do. We all do. We need people who love us, we need people to support us, we need people to push us, and we need people who understand us.

God’s been so good to give me people who do all of those things. And to them, I’ll forever be grateful. ❤

~~Amie~~

I See the Sun

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I see the sun through the evening shower

I know the sun in spite of this midnight hour

Each day it’s there, warming my heart

Even though it’s so hard to see in the dark.

I have been telling myself I won’t let myself grieve. I won’t mourn, I’ll be fine. Just keep moving, looking to the next day.

But last week was one of those weeks that just called for a lot of sorrow, mixed in with a strange type of joy.

Last week I was supposed to be seeing my friends. Hugging them, laughing with them. I was supposed to stand next to one of my favorite people as she pledged her life to her love.

But I sat in my kitchen instead, watching a screen.

There are so many things we’re all missing out on because we’re trying to stay safe. We’re trying to show Christlike love, by putting other’s health and safety before our own. And I’m so happy that I get to do that, that I get to stay home, and that I’m able to keep myself alive for years in the future.

But it’s also okay to be sad.

To grieve.

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So many lives lost. So many memories not happening. So many people we miss. So many hugs we’ve lost. So many moments of laughter that we’re not having.

It’s okay to curl up on your bed and take a deep breath, to let the tears free. It’s okay to hurt, to wonder why. It’s okay.

But always remember that there is a sunshine behind the clouds, and a tomorrow after today. Maybe not this year, maybe not now. Maybe it’ll never be like you thought it should, but you will have something good in the future. Maybe I won’t be hugging my friends this year, not laughing with them, or rooming with them at a writing conference.

But next year.

Next time.

Tomorrow.

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It’s still empty and full of possibility, full of hugs, full of companionship, and worth waiting for, worth going through pain today.

As someone once said, “A moment of pain is worth a lifetime of glory.”

A year of loneliness is worth a lifetime of health and companionship. And for that reason, I’m going to stay home, wishing to be with my favorite people. For that reason, I’ll be Skyping instead of hugging. And for that reason, I’ll be letting myself cry.

Tomorrow still has sunshine,

~~Amie~~

Say It Louder

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White silence is violence.

I am white, I have remained silent, I have wondered, questioned, disbelieved.

I am part of the violence, one voice that has stayed silent, because my skin wasn’t targeted. Because I was continually told that I was privileged.

And for a long time, I thought that was an insult. But I have since learned that it is not. It is truly a privilege and an opportunity.

I wish they would only take me as I am
— Vincent Van Gogh

One of the people I admire the most doesn’t share my skin color. My co-workers don’t share my skin color. To me, it’s never mattered. To me, that made them prettier than I am, it made me marvel and admire our diversity.

The beauty and uniqueness of life.

But not to others. Others see my friends as less. See them was lives that don’t matter, lives that shouldn’t be lived.

I’m here to say that life matters.

Black lives matter. Asian lives matter. Unborn lives matter.

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are different and yet the same.
— Anne Frank

I will never know what it’s like to not have the privileges of a white American girl. I’ll never know what it’s like, but that doesn’t mean I should stay in the shadows, hiding. It doesn’t mean I should doubt what’s happening.

It’s been happening for hundreds of years, to so many different colored skins.

I’m here to say that being white doesn’t make me better than anyone else. It just makes me sunburn. There is nothing about me that makes me better than you, nothing.

I’m human. I bleed the same color of blood. I breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. I get dirty, I cry, I get angry, I get hurt.

There’s nothing that makes white people better than black people. Nothing. There’s nothing that makes white people better than Asians, or Hispanics, or any other kind of ethnicity. Nothing.

Can I say that loud enough?

“We are not to simply bandage the wounds of victims beneath the wheels of injustice, we are to drive a spoke into the wheel itself.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Murder is never okay, regardless of who does it to whom. Murder is condemned in the Word of God, and so we must not only give comfort to those hurt by this injustice, by this tragedy.

We must confront the root of the problem, we must stand and be heard. There is no time for us to wait around and see. No time for us to wonder at this tragedy.

It has happened. It has continued to happen. And it won’t end if we don’t stand together, regardless of our skin, and point out blatant facts.

Racism is wrong.

Discriminating is wrong.

Murder is wrong.

And why?

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
— Galatians 3:28

 

For God shows no partiality.
— Romans 2:11

 

Whoever takes a human life shall surely be put to death. You shall not murder.
— Leviticus 24:17, Exodus 20:13

Now is not the time to be silent, for whatever reason you might have. Now is not the time to worry about hate comments, about what others think about you, or even your stats. Now is not the time to wonder what your friends will say about an awkward conversation, or worry about how this will make you look.

If you do not speak, you are guilty.

Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.
-Dietrich Bonhoffer

We must speak, we must act, we must resist silence. We must stand, face the problem, and work with those who are trying to eradicate it.

Regardless of your skin color, you matter.

Regardless of your ethnicity, you should stand.

Regardless of your privileges, you should speak.

Because all lives matter.

Because black lives matter.

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality…. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.

~~Amie~~

A Medley of Opinions

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The Amie Anne Board of Directors™ hard at work

The Amie Anne Board of Directors™ were surfing through the blogsphere as part of the daily job. (Amie is still trying to get more of them to comment on blog posts, so if you haven’t had a comment from Amie on your post in months, pardon the neglect. It’s been hard for the board to keep up on all things in the social media bubble.) As they were surfing, they noticed that there has been a trend going around.

And it has to do with something that we stay far away from on Amie Anne, due to Article Four of Protecting Amie’s Privacy Act. (PAP’s Act for short.) After a very heated and long board meeting, the Amie Anne Board of Directors™ have made an exception for this one post, and today, we will be talking about the trend on music.

Why people have suddenly decided to share playlists, why people actually want to hear other’s opinion on music, and why the world would like to let such a personal cat out of the bag are topics we will be examining in this post.

Please remember, as it says in Article Three of the Amie Anne Public Relations Statement, that all these answers are based on said incorporation’s opinions, instead of solid facts in the way the world works. Without further adieu, let us begin.

Why Have People Started Sharing Playlists?

From my research, playlist sharing is a common thing to do when you have no words for a photoshoot. Such bloggers often release a new playlist at the beginning of a new season.

It appears that blog readers love to see that the person behind the words has the same tastes as them. In a way, this brings the reader a false sense of closeness and familiarity with the blogger, and perhaps strikes up interesting and beautiful discussions in the comment section.

It has been noted by the Amie Anne Board of Directors™ that the comment section of the posts have rather been lacking of late, which ended in a filed complaint at Amie’s management of this here establishment. Regardless, this is us acknowledging that anything that strikes up reader interaction is a valuable and good thing to do.

which may or may not be why we are doing this post.

Why Do People Want Other’s Opinion on Music?

To Amie, music is extremely personal. It’s something that she prefers to keep to herself, which is why she rarely listens to music without earbuds. Creating music is just as personal, and usually discordant, so it is absolutely not allowed to be shared.

But there are other people in the world who enjoy people agreeing with them.

Here Amie took a break to eat pizza and she found this hilarious parody on Bad Guy, called Good Mom

Also, if you have never heard a song, and someone who has good taste recommends it, you’re probably more likely to listen to it. The Amie Anne Board of Directors™ recommends all of the VeggieTales songs. The beats are so sick, and the lyrics are deeper than most people realize.

Also 10/10 recommend The Pond’s music. There’s something about Floyd’s voice. It just hits the spot.

Why Let the Personal Cat Out of the Bag?

Here, every human has a different reason to discuss their personal opinion on music. Some might have the desire to show the world amazing artists, some want to fan over an album, others to encourage those around them.

There’s no bad reason to share music. There’s no bad reason to keep it yourself. It’s simply a personal preference and what you feel comfortable with.

So never join a trend unless you feel comfortable. As much as people on social media love likes, followers, and views, what’s most important that you continue staying true to yourself, and that you are always comfortable with what you post.

In behalf of the Amie Anne Board of Directors™,

~~Amie~~

Humor and Coffee

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I tried to come up with something funny to blog about, I swear I did. All my humor has been drained from my life and painted in my world. actually I might be writing a comedic short story, and that’s what’s stealing my humor. Screaming children, yelling, and general mayhem that causes me to crawl back into my mind with a hurry hasn’t bothered me the past few days.

Grant it, I don’t expect this to always be the case, but ya know, enjoy it while it lasts.

Also, the weather has been extremely finicky lately. It was so balmy and happy, but I think it stubbed its toe, so it went down to the 40s again. But I’m not complaining. Stub your toe more often, weather, if it gets us such beautiful variety.

I have been either extremely motivated, staying on track and getting everything done, or just reading all day. It seems to rotate. My brain loves work. It craves work, deadlines, the thrill of almost failing, but if I don’t have the last two, I really like sitting still and reading or doing nothing and just staring at the wall.

Not healthy behavior, staring at a wall, but it’s so interesting to get lost in ones thoughts. Or to just sit there and do nothing.

Coffee has been tasting especially delicious, and I received a box full of new tea flavors for my birthday. That caused quite a few squeals, and I have enjoyed sharing the tea with my mom.

We had the first watermelon of the season and it tasted heavenly. Warm, watery, sweet, and crisp. No hate, but people who can eat soggy, bright red watermelon confuse me. I personally prefer crisp, pink watermelon.

Today, my whole day was lit up by receiving a snailmail letter from a blog reader. So sweet of them to write! ❤

The sky is so blue, it makes me want to just become a part of the sky. I’ve always been bummed that I have brown eyes, since blue is my favorite color. It’s kinda worse in my mind, because my dad and half my siblings have amazing blue eyes, and I got the brown eyed genes. *sighs* But when my eyes look red, I’m not quite so mad any more. XD

Of course, since I have my mom’s eyes, my dad always tells me that he thinks my eyes are the prettiest thing about me. Think he’s a little biased? XD

Banana bread has become a staple in our house, don’t know why.

This post is getting even more boring.

You see, I went to a place where people existed for the first time in two calendar months. (I lost count of weeks.) (Actually, I lost count of everything, lol.) And now I’m kinda like, wow. Insanity has set it. And I’ve lost it all enough to just ramble about nothingness.

So pardon this post.

I’m a bit frazzled.

~~Amie~~

It’s My Story

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I’ve been growing. 

I’ve been looking back at my past and seeing how it’s changed me. Seeing why I am how I am, and how I can change myself. Not because I don’t like myself. No.

In the past year, I’ve begun to love myself. No longer hating the pain and anger that sits inside of me, no longer hating the face that was given to me, no longer mad about the body that I call mine, no longer ashamed that I’m me.

I can go back and read past blog posts, smiling at who I was then.

And I can go back five years and tell myself it wasn’t my fault. I shouldn’t feel guilty for refusing to see my grandfather four days before he died. I shouldn’t feel guilty for not hugging him the last time I saw him. I shouldn’t hurt because at his funeral I didn’t cry.

God and my grandfather know that I loved him. And I’m proud to be his granddaughter. Proud that I had a grandfather with such a story.

Instead of feeling the pain of my twelfth birthday, I can remember the beauty of the bouquet my father brought me. The moment I hugged him, soaking in his warmth and the clean smell of the hospital. He had made it, he was here to celebrate, even if it was a only for a few hours.

Instead of basking in the things I missed on that birthday, I can relive the tears that rolled down my cheeks when people from my church surprised me. Because they actually cared, because this was a good reason to let all the tears out, a time I didn’t have to be strong.

I’ve been patching up the relationships I destroyed in my desperate attempt to control my life. I’ve started releasing my fears. They aren’t all gone, and it’ll be a lifelong journey. But in the past year, I’ve been taught one thing.

I’m not in control.

I’m just in for the ride. So why hold on with a vice grip, when I can just lean back? I know that my God is only planning things that will be good for me. Sure, the good might hurt at times, it might bring tears. It might even feel like too much.

But God always gives you strength. Sometimes that’s only enough strength to lie in bed, sometimes it’s only enough strength to sob on the floor. Sometimes it’s enough strength to get up and run. And sometimes, it’s enough strength to soar.

Comparison should never be allowed to enter your mind. Because your journey, the amount of strength God sees fit to give you is uniquely yours.

God has written a unique story for each of us.

I would never wish to have someone live my past, and in order for you to be me, you would have to have that. Never compare yourself to me, to others, to the people around you. You don’t know what they’ve gone through, and it’ll only ruin your own story.

If you don’t have both eyes on the road, you’ll never know the difference between good and best. Live your story, my friends. Embrace it, love it, understand the beauty, and do your very best.

Your past might be sad, your future might be rocky, and the present might be dark, but God promises that though there are tears in the night, joy will come with the morn. ❤

~~Amie~~

Weird: Amie Anne

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Hi, and welcome back to Amie Anne. Today I am doing something that Enni inspired me to do. I love Wired, seeing celebrates answer questions about themselves is hilarious, because half of the time they have no idea that those questions are even asked.

I, however, am not a celebrity. So I have not been asked to be on Wired, and probably never will. So, for the sake of those poor unfortunate souls who want to do fun things, but can’t because they’re not famous, welcome to Weird!

I’m your host, Amie, and today the lovely Amie Anne will be answering the Google Search suggestions on Amie.

first off, we start with how amie . . .

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How Amie? 

How to you too, folks.

How Amie Harwick died?

Hmm, not sure that this has anything to do with yours truly, or the next one, so we’ll skip it. XD

How emit works?

Well, this is rather simply. You just let out a sound, and you emit it. It’s rather simple to get it to work. My computer keys are emitting right now as I type.

Amie how many years?

That is a question I ask God every day.

Amie how to apply?

I’m glad you asked. I’m assuming you’re wondering how to apply my blog posts. There’s a slightly different strategy for each post, but here’s a simply strategy that should work for most post. Think over what I say, give it at least five minutes of deep thought, ignore all grammar and punctuation mistakes, and do whatever I tell you in my post.

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What Amie?

I agree. What, Amie? I have no idea what I’m doing or saying, so we’re in the same boat.

What Amie means?

Amie means female friend in French, so basically any time you say my name, you’re calling me your friend. 😉

What Amie exam?

The Amie exam is a tough exam that you must take a long time to study for put on by yours truly. It tests your knowledge of history, YouTube, music, writing, and life. If you’re interested in taking this exam, just let me know in the comments below.

What Amie mean in french?

First off, French has a capital F, and second, I just told you up there.

What’s Amie in French?

It’s simply amie. *shrugs*

What Ameil means?

*nerd moment* Ameil is a variation of the name Ameel, which means “God is my kinsmen” in Hebrew.

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When Amie?

When Amie is a wonderful piece, pathetic and full of mournful qualities.

When Amie result will be declared?

You will be told your result on the Amie exam within 48 hours of the time it is submitted.

When did Amie Harwick die?

When she stopped breathing.

When was the Amiens Cathedral built? 

In 1220, in France.

Aimee Spencer Geordie Shore?

*takes off my sunglasses and looks at you* Bless you.

When was Annie released?

Before I give you the answer, we need to take a moment to let out a deep breath. I know, I know, a quick glance at Amie, it might look like Annie. BUT my name is not Annie. Anyway, Annie was released in 1982.

Thank you so much for joining me on Weird, Amie Anne!

No problem, Amie. It was certainly a pleasure.

That’s it for this issue of Weird, tune again some other time to hear another person answer Googles Suggested Searches.

~~Amie~~

Never Say Goodbye

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They say time heals all wounds. But he was finding it a poor painkiller.

 

Tyler Collens has seen grief and loss in his years of experience as a paramedic—but he never expected it to touch his life in such a personal way. The death of his wife eighteen months ago shook his steady world and changed him in more ways than he can count. Time and routine have steadied his feet, and he looks toward the future as he raises his infant daughter—but the past has a tighter grip on him than he knows.

 

Alyvia Emmerson has never been certain of who she is or where she belongs. Her dad’s abandonment as a teen broke a fragile piece of her heart, but ten years later, she has moved on. Living on her own, she at last has a project to devote herself to: revitalizing a shabby bookstore. But she didn’t count on her dream job revealing the shattered pieces of herself she thought mended long ago.

 

In this sophomore novel featuring beloved characters from Live Without You, Sarah Grace Grzy explores themes of grief, hope, and second chances in a story that touches both the heart and spirit. 

Since the moment Sarah Grace Grzy first announced she was releasing a second book, I was on the edge of my seat for more information. Sarah Grace’s Instagram is one of my favorite accounts, and I love Live Without You, so I was beyond thrilled when I heard that Never Say Goodbye‘s release date was just days before yours truly’s birthday.

Because that meant someone would buy the book for me. they didn’t, and I forked over my own money but that’s besides the point.

I was honored to be able to join this tour, and write my own review of this story, so if you’re ready, I am.

I started the book, unsure of what to expect. I knew it was about Tyler (one of my favorite characters from Live Without You) but I wasn’t sure what was going on, the exact plot of the story, or how long it was after Live Without You.

I finished the book in one day.

That should be a testament to how amazing this story is. It took me two pages to be sucked into the tale, and it took four hours for me to finish the tale and give all the characters hugs.

Sarah Grace deserves a long round of applause from everyone. Not only from her remarkable story, but also for how much work she’s put into this launch, this story, her Instagram, and just connecting with readers. We need to take a moment of silence to thank her for all of this.

*moment of silence*

Now onto the actual review. I must say, I was a little hesitant about Alyvia and her dad. Just. Hmm. Dad abandonment issues with a young adult? But the tale is perfect, which was astonishing, especially with all that was going on with Tyler and Murrae.

Seeing Ezra and Piper as parents about melted my heart, to be honest. 😍

The pacing of the story was smooth, I was immediately drawn into both Tyler and Alyvia’s problems, and all the little kiddies in the story made it so much better! Plus, the beautiful little bookshop felt like home with such vivid descriptions. I could picture everything, down to the crockity old customer.

The romance was super sweet, but never anything to make you uncomfortable. (Not giving any spoilers here, I promise. 😇) It was easy to understand both Alyvia and Tyler’s motivations, their fears, and their desires, and ah, I was totally cheering both of them on.

The tragic events never seemed unrealistic. It was just like, well, that’s life. It’s full of its ups and downs, and sometimes it feels like it when it rains, it just pours. So overall, I would rate this story five stars.

It surpassed my expectations, and that is hard to do, m’friends.

Now, you’re asking who Sarah Grace Grzy is? Well, let me inform you.

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Sarah Grace Grzy is a voracious reader, and if it weren’t for this crazy thing called ‘Life,’ she’d be tempted to spend all her days in front of a wood stove, book in one hand, coffee mug in the other. A lover of learning, she finds enjoyment in many things and has more hobbies than she knows what to do with. Sarah Grace is a freelance web and graphic designer, and when not working, spending time with her ever-growing family, or reading, she can be found painting, playing the piano, or fangirling with her sisters and friends. Sarah Grace inhabits the State of Great Lakes, and wouldn’t want to live anywhere else—unless it meant she could have a baby penguin, in which case, she’d gladly move to the South Pole.


Where can you buy this lovely work of art?

Amazon

Barnes and Nobles

Book Depository

Indie Bound

If you’re interested in the giveaway, check it out here.

Comment below if you’ve read Live Without You, and tell me if you’ve already pre-ordered Never Say Goodbye, or if you’re planning to order it.

~~Amie~~