I have lost my faith in humanity.
I have lost it many times before, but somehow, it’s found it’s way back. But…now I don’t know. I went to the doctor today and was diagnosed with bronchitis. And to make a long story short, my mom ended up going to the doctor herself, after my appointment, and left me in the car.
I expected her to be gone 15 minutes, maybe 30 at the latest. She had left the windows open for me, and for the first thirty minutes I was okay. Like, I didn’t feel good, but I was okay.
And then a flip just kinda switched in my delusional sick brain, and I started crying. And I proceeded to sob for thirty minutes because everything in the world was awful and I just wanted to be home. Right. now. And so I sobbed in a fairly busy parking lot, with the windows opened, and people walking by my car, but not one stopped to even look at me, let alone ask if the teenage girl, sobbing in the car, was alright.
No, I wasn’t very nice to my mom when she came back in the car, and I’m sorry, Mom. I love you, and I know you were just trying to do what was best for both of us. ❤
But it just made me realize. This one of the reasons that in America we have abusive situations, the reason there’s so many people stuck in trafficking, and so many suicides. People don’t stop to ask what’s the matter. They aren’t concerned when they see a teenager crying in the car. They don’t stop when a girl is crying in the public bathroom.
We are all lost in our own world, our own woes, and our own circles. We don’t pause to shine the light of Christ to others, we don’t stop to get ourselves dirty in other’s troubles. We don’t ask people how they’re doing, and really expect them to answer how they are. The American society is full of fake interactions, fake questions, and fake answers. We are all “independent.” We make our own way in the world, and wait for no one, care for no one, and are fully invested in our self love.
But if you only take time to love yourself, you haven’t time to love others. You’re stuck, staring deep inside yourself, getting lost in your mind, and putting yourself in front of others. Listen, there’s this great acrostic, it goes like this:
In order to have true joy, you need to be last in your plans. Because listen, if we all follow this, you will fall into someone else’s others. And you will be taken care of, without having to put all your attention on yourself.
Some people might say that this is an idealistic society, and it is. We should always be striving to the ideal. Christ laid down the ideal for us, where we care for each other as brothers and sisters in the church. There is no excuse for us to not pay attention to those in the pews at church, there’s no excuse for you to hurry out before speaking to at least one person. There’s no reason you should walk through Walmart without giving at least one person a smile. There’s no reason why you should walk down the street and not node to at least one person.
It’s easy for us to avoid people because we don’t want to have to listen to their complaints, to carry their pain, or give them the time of day. But we need to, because sometimes, through helping others, you help yourself.
There’s this awesome NF song called, “If You Want Love.” The chorus is so true, and is something that each of us needs to understand.
“If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon’ have to give some away
If you want love, if you want love”
I want love. So I’ll risk the pain.
P.S. Kellyn Roth is having an awesome giveaway on her Instagram. Check it out here!